Friday, March 10, 2006

what a woman

Since I like to post, in this blog, Marian stuff I come across, I had to excerpt a beautiful post from my good and dear friend Amy over at The Refusal to Grasp. It's part of a larger context on the proper role of men and women in a relationship. Please read the whole thing here.

Woman's role is not to be Adam. It's also not to let Adam know what his role is. Relationship's are like chinese finger cuffs in this way. The more you try to let the other know what his/her role is the worse it gets. The more you focus on being what you are, the more free you become.

Hey, I didn't make the rules, I've just lost at the game enough times to know what they are.

Somehow, even if you are dead on convinced that you are right (which we always are aren't we?) and he is wrong, the minute you point a finger, accuse, or even politely say "just move out of the way and let me do it" you can pretty much throw in the towel. It's like a chain reaction. One of you does it, then the other reacts, and it all keeps spiraling down until somebody is crying, aggrivated or just shuts down completely. On the contrary, if you recognize the small, oh so painful opportunity to die to yourself in a moment preceeding one of these conflicts, an amazing thing happens. One little death will do it and it will open the door for the other to be who they are and suddenly grace is pouring over both of you and the only problem left is how attractive he's just become.

Sounds easy, but let me tell you sista, it aint. To know what this looks like in every situation is so hard, so delicate. Somehow, everytime, it looks like Mary telling Jesus "they need more wine".

What is the fundamental difference between Eve in the garden and Mary at the wedding at Cana?

Mary did not presume to do what it was Jesus' role to do. She was completely and totally receptive to him, as man, in a beautifully, feminine, active way. She did not act for him, she provided the space where his act would be most fruitful. Mary provides space, [but not passively], actively, creatively even.

What a woman.

Amen, Amy. Amen.

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