Friday, June 03, 2005

trials and interviews

Tonight was particularly trying... being hassled to my face by someone in authority at my parish for my "conservative agenda", my views that "no one else shares", my "preachiness", and for being out of touch with my parish's "philosophy and theology."

I've told myself I didn't want this blog to be a diary, per se... just a record of my discernment so close friends could keep up with how I'm doing. But the more I think about it... this incident is involved in my discernment. It helped me get a taste for what may come my way if Christ confirms me on this path toward his priesthood and if I try to be faithful to His Teachings. This is what I could get.

Two of the Spiritual Works of Mercy are to "Bear wrongs patiently" and "Forgive all injuries"... I have much more room to grow in these areas...I tried to do those tonight.

So I was all shaken up from that and then had to go right to my last interview with the Archdiocese. Christ is so beautiful... how he allows us to carry his cross so generously... this interview was the most challenging of the four :) But it was good... can carrying a cross be anything but?

Father was one of the elderly priests of the Archdiocese so he was wise, soft spoken, and careful and finally probed me like I wanted to be. Tonight's talk was on decision making and personal spirituality. He exposed all my shortcomings :) After our hour long talk he learned that I have trouble making life decisions, need to spend more time reading the Bible, need to devote at least 15 minutes a day for spiritual reading, and need to pray the Rosary more :)...oh...and I need to start exercising too :)

I was glad he cared about those things. I was glad he thought they were important. I was thankful that he advised that I try to improve in those areas. He gave me a lot of great advice and little antecdotes here and there.

The other interviews went well too: Sexuality and Interpersonal Relationships was difficult, but important, and the lady I interviewed with was a great conversationalist; it wasn't explicit or confessional at all. Finance and Debt was good too, the gentleman I spoke with gave me some good advice on how to handle my financial situation. Finally, Priestly Call and Understanding went well and offered the most lively discussion of the four, I felt very comfortable.

Now I guess that's it...still need to get a physical... and then wait for word from my Vocation Director... one last meeting with him and then onto the Archbishop!

Why do I sound so bleak on here? I really am excited...just having a hard time expressing it.

O Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, and Queen of the World, rule over us, together with the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, Our King.
-- Pope Pius XII

Oh Blessed Mother, my Mother, I love you so so much
-- Me


subrosa said...

i got your back. :) - anne

JamesPB said...

Fear not...


Matt1618 said...

thanks guys :)