Wednesday, July 20, 2005


As I sit here at work, not being as productive as I could be, I wonder if one can go through an ontological change without having been ordained. I know it sounds silly, and I would never claim to be worthy of such a change. But as I look back on myself and my discernment I'm amazed at how much I'm not the "computer guy" I used to be: every day researching the latest technologies for the fun of it, staying on top of the latest gadgets and web development techniques, completely passionate for all things computers. Now I think I'm just not cut out to be a "computer guy" at all (or be in the corporate world in general for that matter). I can barely make myself be it! My job exponentially decreases in meaning, as does my work ethic, as the days go by.

It's been helpful in my discernment to realize that my real passions lie with the Church. But oh how I'd love to at least fake a care for software development while I'm still employed in it...

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