spiritual direction

Well this past weekend was another great spiritual direction weekend with Fr. Paul at his two parishes in Brandenburg and Flaherty, KY. Saturday I M.C.'d two masses and then for supper we met his parents at the Schnitzel Barn (see pic), a great German restaurant in Vine Grove/Flaherty. A tall Warsteiner hit the spot after a hot day under a cassock and surplice. Also, the Zigeuner Schnitzel was delicious. Afterwards, we watched the video of Fr. Paul's deaconate ordination at St. Mary's. It was beautiful and very inspirational. After two masses on Sunday we met up with one of Father's friends at BBC to have a celebratory toast to my being accepted into seminary (I highly recommend the Summer Wheat). There he gave me a lot of great practical advice on seminary life.

Sunday night, in between innings of a heartbreaking Cardinals and Cubs game, I worked on the seminary applicaton to St. Mary's. Fr. Bill wants that all taken care of by the time he gets back from vacation on Friday.

tough decisions

Take Tough Decisions to Christ in the Eucharist
Interview With Spokesman of the Sacred Monastery of St. Francis of Assisi

ROME, JULY 22, 2005 (Zenit.org).- St. Francis would urge everyone to make life decisions in prayer before the Eucharist, says the spokesman of the Sacred Monastery of St. Francis, in
Assisi.

In this interview with ZENIT, Father Enzo Fortunato, who is also a professor at the Pontifical Faculty of St. Bonaventure in Rome, explains that the saint, known for ecology, peace and poverty, was also a great promoter of the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.

Q: What was the meaning of the Eucharist for St. Francis?

Father Fortunato: In Franciscan spirituality, discernment is very important, which St. Francis presented in relation with the Eucharist.

Discernment affects man's most important appointments before God, when he must make decisions. In Francis' writings, in the testament, in the letter he addressed to the whole order,
and in the letter to all the faithful, the word discernment appears in relation with the Eucharist.

Francis presented the Eucharist as central for the life of each one, in his relationship with God, in his relationships with other brothers.

To encourage discernment before the Eucharist, it is as if St. Francis was saying to each one of us: When there are significant moments in your life and you must make decisions, stay before the Eucharist, and try to reason with faith, as faith leads us to discern and to see in the piece of bread and in the wine the presence of Christ. Francis wanted this reasoning, suffused with faith, to be applied to all decisions.

Q: What do the "Admonitions" say about the Eucharist?

Father Fortunato: Francis wrote the "Admonitions," exhortations for the different circumstances of life, all of them very brief.

The first one, however, is longer, and is dedicated almost entirely to the Eucharist. The text says: "Sublime humility and humble sublimity! That the lord of the universe, God and the
Son of God, should humble himself to the point of hiding for our salvation in a piece of bread."

This passage of the admonition shows us that Francis is emotionally involved before the Eucharistic mystery. In this language we perceive a relevant aspect of our identity as Friars Minor. The central character of the Eucharist in the action of discernment gives value to decisions of minority and fraternity that characterizes St. Francis and the Franciscans.

Q: Francis' most famous writing is perhaps the Canticle of the Creatures. How is this Eucharistic vision of life present in that composition?

Father Fortunato: The Eucharist is the source of that thanksgiving that Francis gives vent to
in the Canticle of the Creatures, as element of praise of existence.

In the canticle is perceived all God's goodness for man. Animate and inanimate nature is a gift of the Lord, and Francis matures his first gratitude before the Eucharist.

that building

Everyone's heard of the Spanish Steps in Rome. I was there myself in June of '04. The steps and the whole area are as amazing as everyone says it is! Back in the day, it used to be the spot in Rome to notice and be noticed. Rome's beautiful women would congregate on the steps hoping to be noticed by the latest up and coming artist to be used for his latest portrait.
But, there's some news about that building at the top of the Steps, the Trinità dei Monti:

Last week, the Vatican and the French Embassy to the Holy See announced that the church, convent and school of Trinità dei Monti at the top of the Spanish Steps would soon receive new tenants. It's a historical event as the present inhabitants, the Sisters of the Sacred Heart, have been there for 178 years.

I liked this little bit of news because the painting is beautiful:

[The] sisters also made their contribution to the works of art in the convent. In 1844, Pauline Perdrau (who would later join the order) painted a youthful Blessed Virgin in prayer. Pope Pius IX titled her "Mater Admirabilis" (Mother Most Admirable) in 1846 and she is the patron of all the schools of the Sacred Heart.

Mater Admirabilis, ora pro nobis!

Trastevere

Trastevere Loves Its Marian Tradition

By Elizabeth Lev

ROME, JULY 21, 2005 (Zenit.org).- Just as the torrid July weather gets into full swing, Rome's hottest festival starts up. The Festa di Noantri from July 16 to 24 brings the already lively Roman quarter of Trastevere to fever pitch.
The name of the feast, "Noantri," derives from the Roman dialect and perhaps is best translated as "ourselves," but while celebrations do take place in the quarter proudly proclaimed by the inhabitants as the home of "true Romans," the holiday is all about the Madonna of Mount Carmel.
The feast was officially instituted in 1927, but the origins date back to the 16th century. In 1535, after a violent thunderstorm, a statue of Mary carved out of cedar wood washed up on the shores of the Tiber. She was brought up the river and given to the then Carmelite church of St. Chrysogonus.
The "Madonna fiumarola," or "river Mary," has been celebrated every year since with processions, prayer and song. This being Trastevere, however, food and wine abound as well.
The festivities began with a Mass at the Church of St. Agatha, the present home of the processional statue, while the original is kept in Santa Cecilia. It was celebrated by Archbishop Angelo Amato, secretary of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
After Mass, the statue was brought out before the church and the procession formed in the square. City standards, Trastevere flags and Carmelite banners were hoisted aloft. The local police band played as a huge wooden vine-wrapped cross rose high in the air and the archbishop, Carmelites and faithful took their places.
But the crowd was waiting for Mary. The Madonna of Carmel sails through the streets on a large wooden platform, crowned with an arched canopy. Sculpted wooden cherubs play at her feet and hover over her head. Reminiscent of the wood rafts of the rivermen who found the statue, it weighs about the same.
Traditionally the young men of Trastevere vie with one another for a chance to show off their physical prowess by carrying the heavy float. Each year, 16 "fusti" -- hunks -- are chosen to bear the Madonna on their shoulders.
As the young men lifted Mary into the air, the crowds broke into wild applause, crying, "Evviva Maria!" Hundreds followed the procession through the narrow streets of Trastevere, decorated for the occasion with banners hanging from windows and palm leaves forming archways.
Amid Marian hymns and prayers, the procession made its way to the historic churches of Trastevere, ending at St. Chrysogonus. There the Madonna rested in the church which had once been her home. At midnight, by music and candlelight, she returned to St. Agatha's.
The visit of the Madonna of Mount Carmel to the churches in the quarter reinforced the bond among the different parishes and orders of Trastevere, but also between neighborhoods or even countries. It may be the feast of the Noantri, but the "ourselves" extends to the world.

Elizabeth Lev teaches Christian art and architecture at Duquesne University's Rome campus. She can be reached at lizlev@zenit.org

You can find some other awesome pictures of the 2000 Festival here

Welcome MOCA!

Welcome to the blog MOCA people! Feel free to check the archives to the right at the very bottom for posts going back to March when I started the application process. Only the most recent 25 posts or so are shown on this main page. You'll also notice links to other seminarian blogs, my favorite sites, and my favorite blogs.

You'll find that I'll mostly post on here anything about Mary, discernment, vocations, or the priesthood. I'll try my hardest to stay out of debates on current events (!). Click "The School of Mary" under the title image at the top of the page to shoot over to my second post in March which deals with my purpose for this blog and why I named it what I did. Enjoy, give advice, and pray for me!

with love,
Matt Hardesty
"Matt1618"

new website!

The Archdiocese of Louisville has a new website! It looks 10x better than their old one which was still old as of earlier today! So they must have just released the new version.

Other good news is The Record, the Archdiocese's newspaper, is now online! I've been waiting for this for a long time. Now it will be much easier for young adults in the area to keep track of what's going on. I would have loved this a few months ago when Theology on Tap and our Catholic Scripture Study was going on!

A couple quibbles: It's my personal opinion that if you just quickly glanced at the website you wouldn't be able to tell it was a Catholic website. I would have liked to have seen a picture of Archbishop Kelly, something on Pope John Paul the Great, Pope Benedict XVI, the Year of the Eucharist, etc. The Archdiocese of Chicago's website is a good example of this.

But, granted, it's a new website, and they may have changes like that planned. I'm also hearing a new Vocation Office website is planned too.

p.s. If you check out the Record at the link above, you'll find an article about MIB I was interviewed for from the latest issue (Marnie always makes me sound so good!). There's also an article about online apologetics from my twin brother Nick, the Director of Apologetics at phatmass.com.

the official word

Here's the official word, as I promised! From an IM with a friend at work:

Matt Hardesty
we had a great conversation :)
Chris Galtenberg
of course :)
Chris Galtenberg
but tell me deets
Matt Hardesty
he's a great man, very supportive
Matt Hardesty
the first thing he said when we sat down was "you're here because you want to be a priest...and I'm here because I want you to be"
Matt Hardesty
that was comforting
Chris Galtenberg
nice
Matt Hardesty
he said he had read through all my files (evaluations, essays, interviews, info, etc) and was very pleased
Matt Hardesty
he was too kind :)
Chris Galtenberg
good!
Matt Hardesty
a little background: yunno how I said the three options before me for seminary are St. Meinrad (hour west), Mundelein (north of chicago) and St. Mary's (Baltimore)
Chris Galtenberg
yes
Matt Hardesty
the teachers at St. Meinrad are all monks...
Matt Hardesty
and yunno how I said I'd prefer to go to St. Mary's...
Chris Galtenberg
si
Matt Hardesty
at one point he said "I wish you were going to St. Meinrad because being a Dominican, I really appreciate the spirituality of the monks there. But, since you want to be a diocesan priest, I think St. Mary's will be great for you"
Matt Hardesty
right after he said "I wish you were going to St. Meinrad" my heart skipped a beat
Matt Hardesty
hehe
Chris Galtenberg
wow :)
Chris Galtenberg
he did that on purpose :) kidding
Matt Hardesty
hehe
Matt Hardesty
I'm so pleased by how the whole conversation went, and very humbled by his comments and advice
Chris Galtenberg
I'm curious about the comments + advice, but I'm sure they're very personal
Matt Hardesty
not too bad...we talked about my twin brother Nick some, he was impressed that I recognized how much of a gift from God to me that he is...he said most people my age don't realize that about others
Matt Hardesty
he was happy that we have such a good relationship and thankful for his support
Chris Galtenberg
sweet
Matt Hardesty
he told me to relax :) he said I won't hear God's voice leading me unless I relax (he knows me already! hehe)
Chris Galtenberg
it's very true
Matt Hardesty
he said that through formation parts of who and what I am now will fall away and that's OK
Chris Galtenberg
yes
Matt Hardesty
I commented that I have already seen that happening somewhat, my computer passions yielding too faith passions
Matt Hardesty
he said, from what he'd read in my files, my motivations for discernment and the priesthood are on track, where they should be at this stage, and will change as I move forward (this was comforting, I want much for my motivations to be...true, or pure, or whatever)
Chris Galtenberg
right
Chris Galtenberg
so now... application to seminary?
Matt Hardesty
yeah, but the good thing is he said that he'd talked with the rector at St. Mary's and the rector wants me to go there
Chris Galtenberg
wow
Chris Galtenberg
so a pretty sure thing with that?
Chris Galtenberg
I mean :) as far as you can tell
Matt Hardesty
yeah I think so
Chris Galtenberg
very exciting!
Matt Hardesty
yeah!
Chris Galtenberg
and that should be sewn up by... end of August?
Matt Hardesty
oh, it'll have to be, the arrival date for new seminarians to St. Mary's is Thur Aug 25 (I'd already checked ;))
Chris Galtenberg
hm
Chris Galtenberg
so even sooner you'll need to hear... how soon COULD you hear?
Matt Hardesty
well, my vocation director is on vacation till Fri July 29
Matt Hardesty
but I'm gonna call him today, tell him my talk with the archbishop went well, and get the ball rolling
Matt Hardesty
seems like I've been rolling this ball forever! haha
Chris Galtenberg
:)
Chris Galtenberg
but you're no Sisyphus - your mountain is almost summited!
Matt Hardesty
ah, but a whole new mountain awaits

meeting with the Archbishop

Well, today is my meeting with the Archbishop. It won't be bad, he is quite cordial, but I'm still a little nervous.

St. John Vianney, pray for us.
St. Charles Borromeo, pray for us.
St. Tarcisius, pray for us.
St. Stephen Martyr, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.

Our Lady of Victory, pray for us.

confrontation

Here's some helpful advice from a seminarian on "Passive Christianity"

ontology

As I sit here at work, not being as productive as I could be, I wonder if one can go through an ontological change without having been ordained. I know it sounds silly, and I would never claim to be worthy of such a change. But as I look back on myself and my discernment I'm amazed at how much I'm not the "computer guy" I used to be: every day researching the latest technologies for the fun of it, staying on top of the latest gadgets and web development techniques, completely passionate for all things computers. Now I think I'm just not cut out to be a "computer guy" at all (or be in the corporate world in general for that matter). I can barely make myself be it! My job exponentially decreases in meaning, as does my work ethic, as the days go by.

It's been helpful in my discernment to realize that my real passions lie with the Church. But oh how I'd love to at least fake a care for software development while I'm still employed in it...

Marian art gallery

A friend of mine pointed out this Marian Art Gallery in Dayton, OH to me recently. What do you guys think? Has anyone visited this gallery? We may go for a road trip to check it out.

on the value of vacation

About vacations, Pope Benedict XVI said yesterday:

It is a time which "offers the unique opportunity to pause before the thought-provoking spectacles of nature, a wonderful 'book' within reach of everyone, adults and children," the Pope continued.

In fact, in "contact with nature, a person rediscovers his correct dimension, rediscovers himself as a creature, small but at the same time unique, with a 'capacity for God' because interiorly he is open to the Infinite," he added.

The person, "driven by his heartfelt urgent search for meaning, … perceives in the surrounding world the mark of goodness and Divine Providence and opens almost naturally to praise and prayer," said Benedict XVI.

On this point, the Holy Father invited the faithful to join in prayer to ask the Virgin Mary "to teach us the secret of the silence that becomes praise, of recollection that disposes to meditation, of love of nature that blossoms in thanksgiving to God."

"We will thus be able to receive more easily in our hearts the light of Truth and practice it in freedom and love," he noted. (emphasis mine)

My bad, Mom!

My bad, Mom!
Yesterday I was out of town with the family visiting my aunt in St. Louis. We saw the Cardinals beat the Astros in an awesome game with awesome seats! But, in doing so, I missed the Optional Memorial of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. So here's belated props to my Blessed Mother!

Also, check out the novena

...well... come to think of it, I didn't toootally forget **insert sheepish grin here**

...oh...and scapulars rule!!

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, pray for us!

Prudence

In the book I'm reading (which I first mentioned here) I just got done with the chapter on Prudence. I'm thinking that I will resolve to write my "Rule of Life." Right now things just happen to get done when they get done. I want my discernment to be organized, principled, purposeful, determined. I don't wanna just happenstance through it. Yunno what I mean? I found these excerpts helpful:

• pg 119: In his Journal of a Soul, Pope John XXIII records this entry for August 14, 1961:
  Considering the purpose of my life I must:
  Desire only to be virtuous and holy, and so be pleasing to God.
  Direct all things to the service and glory of the Church.
  Recognize that I have been sent here by God, and therefore remain perfectly serene about all that happens.
  Entrust myself at all times to Divine Providence.
  Always arrange my day in an intelligent and orderly manner.
• pg 119: Often have I quoted from Cardinal Newman who, when asked the road to perfection, responded:
  "He is perfect who does the work of the day perfectly... first, do not lie in bed beyond the due time of rising; give your first thoughts to God; make a good visit to the Blessed Sacrament; say the Angelus devoutly; eat and drink to God's glory; say the rosary well; be recollected; keep out bad thoughts; make your evening meditation; examine yourself daily; go to bed in good time... and you are already perfect."
• pg 121: St. Ignatius of Loyala's "First Principle and Foundation":
  Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
  The other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him in attaining the end for which he is created.
  Hence, man is to make use of them in as far as they help him in the attainment of his end, and he must rid himself of them in as far as they prove a hindrance to him.
  Therefore, we must make ourselves indifferent to all created things, as far as we are allowed free choice and are not under any prohibition. Consequently, as far as we are concerned, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, a long life to a short life. The same holds for all other things.
  Our one desire and choice should be what is more conducive to the end for which we are created.
  -- Louis Puhl, S.J., The Spiritual Exercises.

Mary, teacher of Prudence, pray for us!

Intercessor of the Unborn

I found this Holy Card today at the Kindred Hospital Adoration Chapel

Our Lady Of Guadalupe
Intercessor Of The Unborn

To help stop the ant-life push in the world the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen encouraged the spiritual adoption of an unborn child. This is done by praying that one particular but unknown child’s life be spared abortion and be allowed to continue to live.

To help accomplish this, it was recommended, an individual say the following daily prayer for a period of nine months.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you very much. I beg you to spare the life of the unborn baby that I have spiritually adopted who is in danger of abortion.”

The name I give my baby is __________. During your earthly life this spiritually adopted child of yours will be known only to God but in the world to come it is hoped that you will meet the souls your prayers saved and spend eternal happiness with them.

Jesus may your peace and your love embrace the hearts, minds, and souls of the family, friends and loved ones who encourage this abortion and lead them all to your sacred and Eucharistic heart

pray for vocations

Thanks to CAA for this post:

The following is a Prayer for Priests (source unknown)

Keep them, I pray Thee, dearest Lord, Keep them, for they are Thine- Thy priests whose lives burn out before Thy consecrated shrine. Keep them, for they are in the world, Though from the world apart; When earthly pleasures tempt, allure,-Shelter them in Thy heart. Keep them, and comfort them in hours Of loneliness and pain, When all their life of sacrifice For souls seems but in vain. Keep them, and O remember, Lord, They have no one but Thee, Yet they have only human hearts, With human frailty. Keep them as spotless as the Host, that daily they caress; Their every thought and word and deed, Deign, dearest Lord, to bless. Amen.

A MARIAN PRAYER FOR DEACONS (From the "Directory for the Ministry and Life of Permanent Deacons, Congregation for the Clergy" published February 22, 1998)

Mary, who as teacher of faith by your obedience to the word of God, has cooperated in a remarkable way with the work of redemption, make the ministry of deacons effective by teaching them to hear the word and to proclaim it faithfully. Mary, teacher of charity, who by your total openness to God's call has cooperated in bringing to birth all the Church's faithful, make the ministry and the life of deacons fruitful by teaching them to give themselves totally to the service of the people of God. Mary, teacher of prayer, who through your maternal intercession has supported and helped the Church from her beginnings, make deacons always attentive to the needs of the faithful by teaching them to come to know the value of prayer. Mary, teacher of humility, by constantly knowing yourself to be the servant of the Lord you were filled with the Holy Spirit, make deacons docile instruments in Christ's work of redemption by teaching them the greatness of being the least of all. Mary, teacher of that service which is hidden, who by your everyday and ordinary life filled with love knew how to cooperate with the salvific plan of God in an exemplary fashion, make deacons good and faithful servants by teaching them the joy of serving the Church with an ardent love. Amen.

I'm so proud

My best friend since freshman year in high school, Matt Hodskins, just informed me about an old coach from middle school that is entering seminary in the Fall at St. Meinrad!
I went to middle shool in Owensboro, KY (where I grew up) at Owensboro Catholic Middle School. You can read the story about coach's decision online here.

I'm so proud on mutliple levels! First that my hometown diocese has a new seminarian. Second that my hometown paper, the Messenger-Inquirer, covered the story fairly and honestly and that they even covered it at all. Allowing Owensboro's vocation director to have the quotes that he did is definitely not something you'd expect from the New York Times or Washington Post (or Louisville's Courier-Journal for that matter).

Please read the story, it's a good one. And pray for Coach Hohman and the Owensboro Diocese that other young men will respond with equal courage and generosity.

Mary, Woman of the Eucharist

VATICAN CITY, JULY 8, 2005 (Zenit.org).- The "instrumentum laboris," or working document, for the Synod of Bishops on the Eucharist, to be held in Rome Oct. 2-23, was published by the Holy See on Thursday.

The document may be consulted at ZENIT's Web page.

Under Part IV: The Eucharist in the Mission of the Church; and Chapter 1: Eucharistic Spirituality; there is a section titled, Mary, Woman of the Eucharist:

76. The Most Holy Virgin Mary stands out among all the saints as a model of holiness and Eucharistic spirituality. According to Church Tradition, she is commemorated with veneration in all the Eucharistic Prayers of the Mass and in a particularly significant way in the Eastern Catholic Churches. Various responses call for a clearer explanation of the role of the Virgin Mary in the Eucharistic liturgy.

Mary is so intimately bound to the Eucharistic mystery that she is rightly called “Woman of the Eucharist” in the Encyclical Letter Ecclesia de Eucharistia. The life of Mary of Nazareth manifests in a sublime way the exclusive relationship between the Mother and the Son of God, who took his Body and Blood from her body and blood. In the same way, her life shows the intimate relationship uniting the Church to the Eucharist, since the Most Holy Virgin is the model and figure of the Church, whose life and mission have their source and summit in the Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Mary’s association with the Eucharist comes more from the interior disposition which characterized her whole life than from her active participation at the moment of the institution of the Sacrament. Her life, which has a profound ecclesial significance, also has a Eucharistic character. By offering her virginal womb in the incarnation of the Word of God, Mary lived the spirit of the Eucharist even before the Sacrament was instituted. For nine months she was the living tabernacle of God. She then acted in a Eucharistic and ecclesial way, when she presented the Child Jesus to the shepherds, the Magi and the High Priest in the Temple. She offered the blessed fruit of her womb to the People of God and the Gentiles, so that they might adore him and acknowledge him as Messiah. Analogously, this is also true in her presence as well as her concern and intercession at Cana, when the Son worked his first sign in which he made an offering of himself through a miracle. The Virgin Mary made a similar gesture under the cross, as she participated in the sufferings of her Son. Afterwards, she received Christ’s body into her arms and placed it in the tomb as the secret seed of resurrection and new life for the salvation of the world. She again made an offering—Eucharistic and ecclesial in nature—by her presence at the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the first gift of the Risen Lord to the Church at her beginning.

The Virgin Mary was conscious of having conceived Christ for the salvation of all humanity. Her awareness became more evident in her participation in the paschal mystery, when her Son entrusted all the faithful to her in the person of the Apostle John, with the words “Woman, behold your Son” (Jn 19:26). Like the Virgin Mary, the Church also makes the Lord Jesus present through the celebration of the Eucharist and gives him to all, so that they might have life in abundance (cf. Jn 10:10).

Mary, Woman of the Eucharist, pray for us!

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

I should have posted this a couple days ago on Thursday. Much thanks to Nicole over at Notes to Myself:

Novena Prayer to Our Lady of Mount Carmel

O most beautiful flower of Mount Carmel,
fruitful vine, splendor of heaven,
blessed Mother of Christ, Immaculate Virgin,
we praise and honor you as our Queen and Mother.

Help us to persevere in constant prayer
for the needs of our world and share with you
in the work of redemption. Be with us, Holy Virgin,
and guide us on our way, as we journey together
in faith, hope and love to your Son,
Christ our Lord.

V. Mary, Queen and Beauty of Carmel,
R. Pray for us and obtain our requests

:)

I had a VERY good talk with my Vocation Director ;) stay tuned for the official word :)

awesome articles

Here's some awesome discernment-related articles I've come across. Though not Marian-themed per se I think they're still very helpful.

"The Priest as Icon" from CatholicExchange: This one does an awesome job of presenting priestly identity, especially during Mass. The priest this article is about "is so reverent and concentrates so completely on the Mass that you forget about him." Nice.

"The Forgotten Vice in Seminary Formation" from the blog at FatherTodd.com: This is an alarming article but very necessary and very important for the Church today. It speaks of the often ignored "issue of effeminacy." I'd be interested to know what my seminarian readers think of this and how/if it's being addressed at their seminary.

"Signal Calling" from The Buffalo News of all places. This is an inspiring article about a star college quarterback who drops it all for seminary and the priesthood.

back again

Last weekend's MIB camping trip was awesome. We had five high schoolers there, ranging from 15-18 who had all expressed an interest in the priesthood...how cool! I was very impressed with each one of them, especially with the thoughts they shared during our Lectio Divina. We also prayed morning, evening, and night prayer together which I'm glad we did.

We canoed 14 miles down Blue River during a nice sunny day and beautiful scenery but the paddling got a little old by about mile 11. It was nice spending time with the younger guys though and getting to know them. Please pray for their vocation.

I also got to know Pablo, one of our seminarians at St. Meinrad...he's got one year left. I was glad to hang out with him some; his joy at being a seminarian and good sense of humor was contagious. I was a little disappointed though when he spoke about giving homilies at Mass already...he's not a deacon yet.

I just got back from spending a week whitewater rafting on the New River. It was a blast and not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. We ran with a company called Class VI, they're top notch. If you ever go rafting on the New, go with Class VI. They had awesome guides, nice facilities and equipment, provided a lunch halfway through the run, cold beer waiting for us when we got off the River (!), nice showers, and a bar and grill for some much-meeded beer and hot wings... man it was nice! They also had a videographer in his own kyak who would paddle ahead of the group, climb up on a major rock formation at each of the rapids and film each boat as they went through. Then while everyone's cleaning up after the trip he edits the film, puts it to a soundtrack, and burns it on a DVD to show everyone on a bigscreen in the bar. It was a lot of fun recounting near wipe-outs and watching the other boats tackle the rapids. I know you're dying to know: I never fell out.

So what does the rafting trip have to do with my discernment...well... on this long-awaited vacation the good Fathers definitely let loose, which was a little weird at first but I guess I'm still getting over the fact that orthodox priests are human too. (Don't worry, in retrospect it was nothing too terribly scandalous!) Maybe I held them on too high of a pedastal? I let loose a little more than I would have liked as well. I'm reminded of some advice a priest at Mundelien gave me when I went there for a vocation retreat. I was lamenting the difference in my behavior around my brothers (looser) and around my friends (tighter). I was saying how I felt hypocritical. The priest said that in phenominology we see that humans typically gravitate toward the lowest common moral denominator and that we shouldn't give ourselves a hard time when this occurs but continue to build ourselves up to resist this phenominon and increase our personal holiness. I shouldn't judge the Fathers.

We did have mass one day in the hotel room which was nice and they faithfully prayed the Hours which was a good witness.

Holy Mary, form me as you did your Son.

adventures on God's green earth

This weekend and all next week I'll be gone on various discernment adventures on "God's green Earth" (as Michael Medved likes to call it).

Today after work I'm heading to the Blue River for camping and canoeing with my discernment group, Men in Black. Our Vocation Director, Fr. Bill Bowling, is taking us and I'm pretty excited about it. He's bringing a few high schoolers who've expressed interest in the priesthood so I hope I'll be able to encourage them to pursue further discernment. This trip with them totally reminds me of something our late Holy Father did when he was a young priest, taking youth on adventures in the wilderness, sharing his joy for life and the priesthood.

I'll be back Saturday night, then going to Holiday World with the family, then on Tuesday I'll be heading to the New River for whitewater rafting with a couple priest-friends of mine and one of their friends.

I've never been whitewater rafting before and I've been assured it's "no big deal" but I'm still a little squeamish...I'm not much of an outdoorsie kinda guy. I guess the thought of sharing the experience with two priests that I greatly admire is comforting!

p.s. Here's another MIB group I found on the internet from the Diocese of New Ulm in Minnesota. Their Q&A seems orthodox enough but their promotion of the priesthood is a little gimmicky. The site looks cool tho!

prayer for intercession of JP the Great

Yesterday the Diocese of Rome published the written prayer to implore favors through the intercession of the late Pope John Paul II:

O Blessed Trinity,
We thank you for having graced the Church with Pope John Paul II
and for allowing the tenderness of your Fatherly care,
the glory of the cross of Christ,
and the splendor of the Holy Spirit, to shine through him.

Trusting fully in Your infinite mercy
and in the maternal intercession of Mary,
he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd,
and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life and is
the way of achieving eternal communion with you.

Grant us, by his intercession, and according to Your will, the graces we implore,
hoping that he will soon be numbered among your saints.
Amen.

new art

Too my trusty two or three readers out there :) how 'bout that new art!? Much thanks goes to Bryan at QuodLibeta for exposing us all to this awesome Catholic line art. If this isn't P.O.D., I don't know what is!

Links

See Fr. Paul's parishes in the previous post or here:

• St. John the Apostle, Brandenburg, KY
• St. Martin of Tours, Flaherty, KY

Also, don't miss:

• Fr. Paul's latest homily
• The Corpus Christi procession and homily at St. Martin's

busy weekend

This weekend I had spiritual direction with Fr. Paul Beach and it was very busy, but an awesome experience.

Here's how the weekend usually goes:
Saturday:

• Meet him at the rectory of his parish, St. John the Apostle in Brandenburg, KY for lunch
• Serve Adoration and Benediction; Fr. hears confessions
• Go to confession
• Emcee Mass at St. John's and then another at St. Martin of Tours in Flaherty, KY
• Supper
• Spiritual Direction

Sunday:

• Emcee Mass at St. Martin's in Flaherty and then another at St. John's in Brandenburg
• Return home to Louisville

What made this weekend particularly busy was the addition of St. John's parish picnic all day Saturday, a baptism after the Mass at St. Martin's on Saturday night, and a late night Mass at St. John's (9:30pm) for the picnic workers. Then on Sunday after the Mass at St. John's Father invited me to hang out with him and his family at BBC for lunch and a brew or two.

The weekend was awesome and a good example of a typical, busy weekend. We spent alot of time at the picnic. Father made a point to go to each booth and laugh and carry on with all of the workers and many of the parishioners and locals who came to the picnic. I usually hate small talk but I saw from Father that sometimes it's really the small talk that counts. It's good for a priest to be joyful and spirited. People like to see a happy, joyful priest who takes time to laugh and spend time with them. We even helped tear down the booths before the late night Mass.

The baptism was awesome :) My first one that I served. The little baby boy that Fr. baptized was completely adorable. They had him dressed up in a little white tux and he was completely content to receive the waters of baptism. The poor parents and godparents; I'm sure in every picture they'll see me in the background in my cassock and surplice smiling from ear to ear! I was so proud and happy that I felt like it was my own son! And the fact that the father was in the military and made a special effort to be there, made it extra freakin cool.

Next week I'm going rafting...I can't wait!

Mary, Mother of my weak but happy heart, Pray for Us!

A visit to Our Lady after Holy Communion

Mother, upon my lips today
Christ's Precious Blood was laid
That Blood which centuries ago
Was for my ransom paid;
And half in love and half in fear
I seek for aid from Thee,
Lest what I worship, rapt in awe,
Should be profaned by me.

Wilt Thou vouch safe as Portress Dear
To guard these lips today
Lessen my words of idle mirth,
And govern all I say;
Keep back the sharp and quick retorts
That rise so easily,
Soften my speech with gentle art
To sweetest charity.

O Mother! Thou art mine today,
By more than double right!
A soul where Christ reposed must be
Most precious in Thy sight;
And Thou canst hardly think of me
From Thy Dear Son apart,
So give me, from myself and sin,
A refuge in Thy heart.

O Mary, O most pure Dove,
please intercede for me with
Your Divine Son Jesus,
for you are His Immaculate
Mother, and He can refuse
you nothing.

Christ chooses his apostles

Father Cantalamessa on Choosing the Twelve Apostles
Pontifical Household Preacher Comments on Sunday's Gospel

ROME, JUNE 10, 2005 (Zenit.org).- In his commentary on this Sunday's readings, Capuchin Father Raniero Cantalamessa, the preacher of the Pontifical Household, discusses how Christ choose his apostles and founded the Church on the principle of service, not power.

Matthew 9:36-10:8

He Chose the 12 and Sent Them

In this Sunday's Gospel Jesus "calls" to himself the Twelve and makes them "Apostles." Therefore he "sends" them to do what he did: to preach the kingdom, to take care of the sick, to free people from fear and demonic powers. He tells them: "Freely you received. Give freely."

That day Jesus decided to inaugurate the future structure of his Church. She would have a hierarchy, a government, namely, the men "called" by him and "sent" to continue his work. It is because of this that the Church is defined as "one, holy, catholic and apostolic," because it is founded on the Apostles.

But all these notions of harvest and laborers, flock and shepherds, governors and governed do not enjoy a good press today. We live in an atmosphere of democracy and equality among men. If someone must exercise authority he must do so, we think, in our name, in as much as we ourselves, with elections, confer the mandate on him. Hence the widespread rejection or disparagement of the hierarchy of the Church: Pope, bishops, priests.

One constantly runs into people, especially college and university students, who have invented their own Christianity. They have, at times, a notable religious sense, beautiful sentiments. They say that, if they wish to, they address God directly; however, they do not want to hear talk of the Church, of priests, of going to Mass and other such things. Their motto: "Christ yes, the Church no."

Undoubtedly the Church can and must be more democratic, that is, the laity should have a greater voice in the election of pastors and the way they exercise their function. But the Church cannot be reduced altogether to a democratically governed society, with decisions made from below. She is not something that men establish on their own initiative, for their good. If the Church was only this, there would no longer be any need for her; the state or a philanthropic society would suffice!

The Church is Christ's institution. Her authority does not come from the consensus of men; it is a gift from above. Because of this, even in the most democratic form we might desire for the Church, she will always be about authority and apostolic service. This is not, or should never be, about superiority and power, but about "free" service, the giving of one's life for the flock, as Jesus said when speaking of the good shepherd.

What keeps some people alienated from the institutional Church are, in the majority of cases, the defects, inconsistencies and errors of the leaders: inquisitions, prosecutions, incorrect use of power and money, scandals. All these things are, sadly, true, though often exaggerated and regarded outside any historical context. We priests are the first ones to be conscious of our misery and inconsistency, and to suffer because of it.

The Church's ministers are "chosen among men" and are subject to the temptations and weaknesses of all men. Jesus did not intend to found a society of the perfect. The Son of God -- said Scottish writer Bruce Marshall -- came into this world and, as the good carpenter he became in Joseph's school, gathered the most twisted and knotty boards he found and built a boat with them -- the Church -- which, despite everything, has withstood the sea for 2,000 years!

Priests "clothed in weakness" have an advantage: They are more prepared to be compassionate of others, to not be surprised by any sin or misery, to be, in a word, merciful, which is perhaps a priest's most beautiful quality. Perhaps, too, precisely because of this, Jesus placed Simon Peter, who denied him three times, at the head of the apostles: he had to learn to forgive "seventy times seven."

oops, how could I forget!?

I can't believe I forgot to mention one thing about my vacation:

NICK AND I MET SCOTT HAHN!

He was there on vacation with his extended family the same week we were! I saw him at Mass at Holy Family Church on Sunday but wasn't sure if it was him or not. (It was a surprisingly orthodox Church, despite the stadium layout) I saw him again at daily Mass so I decided to ask one of the ladies that ran the Church's gift shop if it was really him. She said it was! So Nick and I (not thinking to buy one there) scurried all over the Island trying to find a bookstore that carried his books. We finally found First Comes Love at a Barnes and Noble!

So the next day we had our book and pen ready for an autograph. We tried to catch him before Mass but weren't able to. After Mass we went outside and waited for him, his wife Kimberly (not to be confused with this Kimberly Hahn), and their son Jeremiah to exit the Church. His son did first so we asked him if he thought it would be OK to get an autograph from his dad. At that moment Kimberly and he came out and were so gracious! Nick and I talked with him for like 10 or 15 minutes! He was very kind and actually wanted to know stuff about us, like what we were doing there, where we're from, if we've graduated college, etc. We talked about theology, apologetics, and his new book coming out!

I asked him to pray for me as I'm discerning the priesthood and he asked me where I might go to seminary. I mentioned that the Archdiocese uses St. Meinrad, St. Mary's in Baltimore, and the Theological College at CUA (I forgot to mention Mundelein, drat!). He said he's heard great things about Mount St. Mary's in Emmitsburg and mentioned that he'll be teaching a scripture class at St. Vincent's in Latrobe, PA. He said if I mentioned St. Vincent's to Archbishop Kelly then he'd put in a plug for me! One note: After I mentioned TC at CUA he said "I wouldn't recommend WTC as they have some growth to do in the way of appreciation of Church Tradition." I'm wondering if he's confusing TC with the Washington Theological Union?

Finally, he asked me to pray for his eldest sons who are also discerning the priesthood and the Fathers of Mercy. I mentioned that I'd spent a weekend with them once and expressed how impressed I was by them. Then Nick and I both shared how the most powerful confessions we'd ever had were with the Fathers of Mercy who have a special devotion to the Sacrament of Confession. He was moved by our experience with the Fathers. What a great, great man. If you're Catholic and you're reading this, by all means, buy a Scott Hahn book!

St. Matthew's vocation

I like this about St. Matthew, my namesake:

Father Cantalamessa on St. Matthew's Vocation
Pontifical Household Preacher Comments on Sunday's Gospel

ROME, JUNE 3, 2005 (Zenit.org).- In his commentary on this Sunday's readings, Capuchin Father Raniero Cantalamessa, the preacher of the Pontifical Household, talks about the calling of St. Matthew.

* * *

Matthew (9:9-13)

God Desires Mercy

There is something moving in the Gospel of the day. Matthew does not tell us about something that Jesus did or said to somebody, rather what he said and did to him. It is an autobiographical page, the story of his meeting with Christ which changed his life.

"Jesus saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax office; and he said to him, 'Follow me.' He rose and followed him." The incident is not mentioned in the Gospels, however, because of the personal importance invested in Matthew. The interest is due to what follows after the moment of the calling. Matthew wished to give a great banquet in his home, to bid farewell to his former work companions, "publicans and sinners."

To the indefectible reaction of the Pharisees, Jesus replies: "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.'" What does that phrase mean, which Jesus quoted from the prophet Hosea? Perhaps it means that all sacrifice and mortification is useless, and that it is enough to love for everything to go well? This passage might lead some to reject Christianity's ascetic dimension, as residue of an afflictive and Manichean mentality that must be overcome.

First of all we must observe a profound change of perspective. In Hosea, the expression refers to man, to what God desires of him. God desires love and knowledge of man, not external sacrifices and holocausts of animals. When Jesus expresses it, instead, he refers to God. The love that is mentioned is not the one that God requires of man, but the one he gives man. "I desire mercy and not sacrifice" means: I desire to use mercy, not to condemn. Its biblical equivalent is what is said in Ezekiel: "I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live" (33:11).

God does not desire "to sacrifice" his creature, but to save him. With this clarification, one also understands better Hosea's expression. God does not desire sacrifice at all costs, as if he enjoyed seeing us suffering; nor does he desire sacrifice made to claim rights and merits before him, or out of a misunderstood sense of duty. Instead he desires sacrifice that is required by his love and by the observance of the Commandments. "One does not live in love without sorrow," says the Imitation of Christ, and daily experience itself confirms it. There is no love without sacrifice. In this connection, St. Paul exhorts us to make of all our life "a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God," (Romans 12:1).

Sacrifice and mercy are good things, but they can become evil if they are badly distributed. They are good things if (as Christ did) one chooses sacrifice for oneself and mercy for others. They become evil if the opposite is done, and mercy is chosen for oneself and sacrifice for the rest, if one is indulgent with oneself and rigorous with others, always ready to excuse ourselves and merciless when judging others. Have we nothing to change in regard to our conduct?

We cannot conclude the commentary on Matthew's vocation without affectionate and grateful acknowledgement to this evangelist who accompanies us with his Gospel in the course of the whole of this first liturgical year.

Caravaggio, who painted "The Calling of St. Matthew," also left a picture of the evangelist while he was writing his Gospel. An early version was destroyed in Berlin during the last war. In a second version, which has come down to us, he is kneeling on the footstool, with his pen in hand, listening attentively to the angel (his symbol) who transmits divine inspiration to him. Thank you, St. Matthew. Without you, how much poorer would be our knowledge of Christ!

more excerpts

While on vacation I took much time on the beautiful Hilton Head Island to do some reading on the book Fr. Paul assigned me, Priests for the Third Millenium by Archbishop Timothy Dolan. I mentioned this book in a previous post. Here are some more Marian excerpts:

On how to "grow in our love with Jesus and his Church":

When we are in love with someone, we get to know that person's family and friends, don't we?... Well, we want Jesus and his Church to be the love of our lives. Get to know his family and friends! Particularly is this true of his Mother. So close are we to him that his Mother becomes our Mother. Thus has devotion to our Lady become a standard of priestly spirituality. We need to recognize that there are different ways of loving Mary. How we love her is an open question; that we love her is not. A filial devotion to the Mother of the First Priest is likewise a definite part of our spirituality and a practical way to grow in our love of Jesus. -- page 45

On fidelity:

We have the perfect example of fidelity in our Blessed Mother, Mary. We call her both "the cause of our joy" and "Our Lady of Sorrows." She is ever close to him, the faithful disciple and Mother, at the happiest moment of salvation history - Bethlehem; and the saddest - Calvary.

• from the wood of the manger to the splinters of the cross;
• from the swaddling clothes to the bloody shroud;
• from the bouncing new life to the lifeless body...
• faithful woman, whose only message to us would be her last recorded words, "Do whatever he tells you!"

I once heard a psychologist say that the first moment a child is conscious of his or her own unique identity is when that baby stares into the eys of its mother. you and I find ourselves in prayer staring into the eyes of our spiritual Mother - it might be the haunting eyes of Our Lady of Czestochowa, the soothing eyes of Our Mother of Perpetual Help, the confident eyes of the Salus Populi Romani (note: "salvation of the Roman People"). As we gaze into the eyes of our Blessed Mother, we become conscious of our identity: a child of God, beloved of the Father, redeemed by Jesus, called by the Eternal High Priest to be configured to him at the very depths of our heart. It is from the consciousness of that supernatural identity, learned from her, that fidelity to God, his Church, his call comes.

As Pope John Paul II said in his Holy Thursday Letter to Priests in 1995: "If the priesthood is by its nature ministerial, we must live it in union with the Mother who is the Handmaid of the Lord. Then our priesthood will be kept safe in her hands, indeed in her heart." -- page 74

Mary, Handmaid of the Lord, pray for us!

back

Well, I'm back from the family vacation in Hilton Head and it was awesome. It was very relaxing and I feel refreshed and energized to come back and continue the "ministries" our Lord lays before me with renewed vigor.

I'm a little anxious about returning to work on Monday to see if my teammate completed the project I abanded at about 75% completion to go on vacation. But I'm even more anxious to check my work email which is the address most people have, including my vocation director. I'll probably stop by the office tomorrow to wade through them all and see if Fr. Bowling has emailed me with any updates on the application process.

I still need to get a physical and send him a digital pic, Wal-Mart style. I'd like to find a good, orthodox Catholic doctor for my physical because I like supporting Catholic professionals, but time is of the essence and physicals are hard to get during the Summer months.

I also need to have my "big meeting" (as he puts it) with Fr. Bowling and also have a meeting with him and my parents. Then on to the seminary application process (!) *sigh* More on all this as I hear about it.

Mary, Teacher of Patience, pray for us!

trials and interviews

Tonight was particularly trying... being hassled to my face by someone in authority at my parish for my "conservative agenda", my views that "no one else shares", my "preachiness", and for being out of touch with my parish's "philosophy and theology."

I've told myself I didn't want this blog to be a diary, per se... just a record of my discernment so close friends could keep up with how I'm doing. But the more I think about it... this incident is involved in my discernment. It helped me get a taste for what may come my way if Christ confirms me on this path toward his priesthood and if I try to be faithful to His Teachings. This is what I could get.

Two of the Spiritual Works of Mercy are to "Bear wrongs patiently" and "Forgive all injuries"... I have much more room to grow in these areas...I tried to do those tonight.

So I was all shaken up from that and then had to go right to my last interview with the Archdiocese. Christ is so beautiful... how he allows us to carry his cross so generously... this interview was the most challenging of the four :) But it was good... can carrying a cross be anything but?

Father was one of the elderly priests of the Archdiocese so he was wise, soft spoken, and careful and finally probed me like I wanted to be. Tonight's talk was on decision making and personal spirituality. He exposed all my shortcomings :) After our hour long talk he learned that I have trouble making life decisions, need to spend more time reading the Bible, need to devote at least 15 minutes a day for spiritual reading, and need to pray the Rosary more :)...oh...and I need to start exercising too :)

I was glad he cared about those things. I was glad he thought they were important. I was thankful that he advised that I try to improve in those areas. He gave me a lot of great advice and little antecdotes here and there.

The other interviews went well too: Sexuality and Interpersonal Relationships was difficult, but important, and the lady I interviewed with was a great conversationalist; it wasn't explicit or confessional at all. Finance and Debt was good too, the gentleman I spoke with gave me some good advice on how to handle my financial situation. Finally, Priestly Call and Understanding went well and offered the most lively discussion of the four, I felt very comfortable.

Now I guess that's it...still need to get a physical... and then wait for word from my Vocation Director... one last meeting with him and then onto the Archbishop!

Why do I sound so bleak on here? I really am excited...just having a hard time expressing it.

O Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, and Queen of the World, rule over us, together with the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, Our King.
-- Pope Pius XII

Oh Blessed Mother, my Mother, I love you so so much
-- Me

alot going on

Does anybody read this?

I hope to post about my interviews soon...my last one is tonight.

Hopefully I'll post before tomorrow...the family's going on vacation all next week to Hilton Head Island, and we're leaving Friday after work!!!

this is beautiful

Pope Likens the Visitation to a Eucharistic Procession
Benedict XVI Offers Meditation at Rosary

VATICAN CITY, JUNE 1, 2005 (Zenit.org).- Mary's visitation to her cousin Elizabeth was in a certain sense the first Eucharistic procession in history, says Benedict XVI.

On Tuesday, the last day of May, the Pope joined the conclusion of the rosary, which many faithful prayed in the Vatican Gardens, led by Archbishop Angelo Comastri, the vicar general for Vatican City State.

Noting that Pope John Paul II liked to recall Mary as the "Eucharistic woman," Benedict XVI noted that that day the liturgy celebrated the feast of the Blessed Virgin's visitation to Elizabeth.

"Carrying the recently conceived Jesus in her womb, Mary goes to visit her elderly cousin, Elizabeth, whom everyone considered sterile, and yet she had reached the sixth month of a gestation gifted by God," Benedict XVI said.

"She is a young maiden, but she is not afraid, because God is with her, within her," he said. "In a certain sense, we can say that her trip was -- we like to underline it in this Year of the Eucharist -- the first Eucharistic procession in history.

"When she enters Elizabeth's home, her greeting is brimming with grace: John leaps with joy in his mother's womb, as if perceiving the coming of the One whom he will have to announce to Israel."

A Magnificat

"The sons exult, the mothers exult," the Pope said. "This meeting, full of joy of the Spirit, finds its expression in the canticle of the Magnificat."

He asked: "Is not this also the joy of the Church, which receives Christ incessantly in the holy Eucharist and takes him to the world with the testimony of active charity, full of faith and hope?

"Yes, to receive Jesus and to take him to others is the true joy of the Christian! Let us follow and imitate Mary, profoundly Eucharistic soul, and our whole life will become a Magnificat."

partner school

Not only did B16 mention the school of Mary a while back, but recently he named our partner school as well. At the end of yesterday's general audience he said:

"We begin today the month of June, dedicated to the Sacred Heart," he said. "Let us pause frequently to contemplate this profound mystery of Divine Love. "

Dear young people, in the school of the Heart of Christ, you will learn to assume with seriousness the responsibilities that await you."

Don't forget, the solemnities of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary are Friday and Saturday.

Mary, Mother of the Most Sacred Heart, pray for us!

discernment update

Well, on the discernment front, I finally got the report from my psych testing from Dr. Walsh. I got a copy and so did Fr. Bill Bowling, my vocation director. Friday we had our monthly Men in Black meeting which was awesome. We met at St. Bartholomew for a holy hour and evening prayer. Michael was in town! He joined us and it was awesome seeing him. Afterwards we all went out for pizza with the pastor. He's an elderly priest and it was nice hearing him talk about his early priesthood and the popes he's experienced over the years.

Fr. Bill gave me permission to begin contacting the people from the Archdiocese that I have to have an interview with. This is the last big step in the application process. I'm excited! I feel like my life is all topsy-turvy, disorganized, klutzy, and...slow... time ususally flies by for me but the days have been grinding on soooo sloooowly... and very unproductive, at least at work. I'm anxious to see if my mood changes upon recieving the final verdict from my vocation director when all this is finished.

Anyway, I've got an interview Thursday afternoon, Friday afternoon, and then two next week.

This past weekend I had spiritual direction with Fr. Paul and it was good as ususal :)

I feel like using this one again: Sacta Maria, ora pro nobis!

Priests for the Third Millennium

I'm about two chapters into a book that Fr. Paul wants me to read by the time I go to seminary: Priests for the Third Millennium by Archbishop Timothy Dolan. It's already very inspirational. He ends the introduction with:

Vergine Immacolata! Aiutateci!
("Immaculate Virgin! Help us!")

Fr. McGivney and I

Today I've been thinking alot about being a Knight of Columbus. It may be a little late, now that I've already joined (!) but I thought I'd do some research into the history of the organization and its founder.

I found a great website about their founder, Fr. Michael J. McGivney. I noticed that I have a couple of things in common with him! He went to seminary at St. Mary's in Baltimore which is one of the seminaries that the Archdiocese uses! I also thought it was cool that his first parish was at a church called St. Mary's (in New Haven, CT). He was also very involved in young adult ministry, as I am. The site says:

Apostle to the Young

There was in Father McGivney some spark, some magnetism, that drew the young to him. He was at ease with little children and lost some of his natural reserve and formality with them. But it was to the young adults of his day that he was given a particular mission. Father McGivney was bonded to the young men and women of his flock in a mutual admiration and respect that endured even after his death in 1890. He was relatively young himself, only 25, when he began his first priestly assignment at St. Mary's Church in New Haven, Conn., and so he understood their aspirations as well as their struggles and temptations.

"Apostle" means "one who is sent. "Father McGivney was sent by God to the young people of his time to lead them along a secure path to Christian adulthood. In an age experiencing the growing despair and violence of teenagers and young adults, it is imperative that we look to models such as Father McGivney to learn the art of drawing the youth of our society to a life of moral excellence and the nobility of Christian service of God and neighbor. No stranger to adversity, Father McGivney is an apostle to those who, in our own era, struggle to find meaning and purpose in life. He is a heavenly patron for young men and women of the third millennium.

Mary, Mother of the Apostles, pray for us!

joined the Knights of Columbus

Last night I joined the Knights of Columbus! I had been wanting to join for a while and had been talking on and off about it with Joe Calvert, head of KY Right to Life who is a Knight.

I've always had a "Knightly" spirituality so to speak. Since 8th grade, when researching who my patron saint would be for Confirmation, I was greatly inspired by St. Michael the Archangel and how he lead the fight of good aganst evil.

I still find this battle inspirational to this day, especially when contemplating my own daily battles against sin.

About the Knights, my grandfather was one and they did much for him and our family when he passed away. My uncles are also Knights and one of them introduced my brothers to the Knights a couple years ago. The weekend they went home for the Ceremony I wasn't able to join them so it's been nagging me ever since that I should join. Plus they do great work in the sanctification of society by promoting and defending Catholic teaching, fighting for the Pro-Life movement, and various other community services. They also promote vocations and support seminarians. If the Lord continues to lead me down this road to seminary, I know I may need to call on my brother Knights for their assistance.

Since I've had this blog, I'm noticing more and more the Blessed Virgin's presence in my life. She seems to pop up all the time! About a month ago I went to Adoration at the chapel in Kindred Hospital. On the way out I stopped in the vestibule to look at the various holy cards and pamphlets available. I found a small handy guide to the rosary that fit nicely in my wallet. After joining the Knights of Columbus (I'm bound by secrecy as to the details of the ceremony) I was given a rosary and that same little guide! I was very happy to learn how devoted to the Blessed Virgin that the Knights are.

Mary, Mother of the Knights of Colubus, pray for us!
...I wonder if it's OK to invent all of these titles for Mary that I've given her after each post!

that they may be one...

Anglican-Catholic Commission Unites on Mary
Releases Joint Statement: "Mary: Grace and Hope in Christ"

SEATTLE, Washington, MAY 18, 2005 (Zenit.org).- Mary need no longer be an obstacle to union between Anglicans and Catholics, according to a document published by a joint council of the two Churches.

The Anglican Roman Catholic International Commission (ARCIC) released on Monday their latest statement, a document that is the fruit of six years of discussions on the figure of Mary, entitled "Mary: Grace and Hope in Christ."

The text was written by a mixed group of 18 Roman Catholic and Anglican theologians.

The statement was released in a celebration at the Catholic cathedral in Seattle, and attended by the ARCIC co-chairs, Roman Catholic Archbishop Alexander Brunett of Seattle and Anglican Archbishop Peter Carnley, primate of Australia.

Also called 'The Seattle Statement,' the text is not an authoritative declaration by either the Catholic or the Anglican Church, but is intended for wider discussion by both.

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster, commented that the statement "is a major achievement in the ongoing dialogue between Catholics and Anglicans worldwide."

It is a "considerable achievement in increasing the depth of understanding of each Church's position," he added.

Catholic Malcolm McMahon of Nottingham, also said that the section on the devotion to Mary in the Anglican tradition will help to show both Catholics and some Anglicans the importance of the Marian Anglican tradition.

"Anglican-Catholic understanding has been greatly strengthened by this dialogue," Bishop McMahon said.

"What we have done is put down a paving stone on the road to Christian unity."

The theologians, coming from 10 different countries, were appointed by the Vatican's Council for Promoting Christian Unity and the Anglican Communion.

The commission, begun in 1970, has also written statements on the Eucharist, ministry authority in the Church, salvation and justification and the nature of the Church.

Mary, Mother of Unity, pray for us!

Our Lady's Mantle

Today I got a really nice e-card from my friend Schmitty for my birthday :) Along with it was the following poem:

Take shelter
under Our Lady's mantle,
and do not fear.
She will give you
all you need.
She is very rich,
and besides
is so very generous
with her children,
especially the smallest,
like you.
So take advantage
without fear
and with complete confidence,
whenever you need anything.
She loves giving.

Bl Raphalea Mary
Foundress of the Handmaids
of the Sacred Heard of Jesus

I like how it says "especially the smallest, like you."
Indeed.

Lectio Divina with the LSP's

Once a month I go to a Lectio Divina for vocation discernment at the Little Sisters of the Poor with the Communion & Liberation group (CL synthesizes the conviction that the Christian event, lived in communion, is the foundation of man's genuine liberation, not to be mistaken for the crazy liberation theology we often hear of)

Anyway, in the context of Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, we sing an opening hymn, read one of the major Calling passages from the Bible, then 20 minutes of quiet time to reflect on the reading. After this there is a sung response after several short prayers that we take turns reading. Then time for silent adoration, a concluding prayer, and then Night Prayer with the community who then joins us.

This particular Lectio centered around the call of Mary so I thought I'd share it here:

Hymn

Reading: Luke 1:26-38 (I'll use the Douay-Rheims here) And in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee, called Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel being come in, said unto her: Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women: Who having heard, was troubled at his saying, and thought with herself what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said to her: Fear not, Mary, for thou hast found grace with God. Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the most High; and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of David his father; and he shall reign in the house of Jacob for ever. And of his kingdom there shall be no end.

And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And behold thy cousin Elizabeth, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren: Because no word shall be impossible with God.

And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

Time for quiet reflection (20 minutes)
Questions to think about during this time:

• Who was Mary? Who am I?
• What was Mary's life like when the angel was sent to her? What is my life like?
• How did God speak to Mary? In what ways does He speak to me today?
• How did the angel greet Mary? How did she react? How do I react to God's unexpected workings in my life?
• Who does God put into my life to help to reveal His plan for me? How does this take place?
• What was God's plan for Mary? How does He make it known?
• What is God's plan for me? How does He make it known to me?
• What was Mary's initial response to the angel? Why do we sometimes feel troubled or fearful when God makes His presence in our life known?
• How can our fears prevent us from doing God's will? How can we overcome them?
• How does the Holy Spirit work in Mary's life? How does He work in mine?
• What was Mary's basic attitude in the face of God's call? What is my attitude toward God's plan for me?
• What does it mean to be a servant? How am I called to serve?
• How did Mary respond to her vocation? What were the results of her response? How is she a model for me?

Repeat sung response after each of the following prayers: Speak, Lord. I love to listen to your voice. See, Lord... Here I am.

Help me, Lord, to know myself

May I always listen to your voice. Prepare my heart to be open to what you ask of me.

Lord, place in my life people who can help me to know your will.

Give me the grace, Lord, to recognize you when you speak to me. May I see your providential love in all the circumstances of my life.

Lord, help me to overcome my fears and enter fully into your plan for me. Teach me that nothing is impossible with you.

Help me to promptly do whatever you ask of me and to accept your will for my life, even when it is unexpected or difficult.

Enlighten me, Lord. Show me my unique vocation.

Help me to be attentive to your Word. Give me a listening heart.

I am your servant, Lord. Let it be done to me as you say.

Silent Adoration.

Concluding Hymn.

Mary, Mother of the Word Incarnate, pray for us!

Pope Mentions My Blog!

In today's Zenit Daily Dispatch there's a brief story on our Holy Father's general audience where he mentions my blog! haha, not really, but this did put a smile on my face:

Pope Urges the Young to Learn Love of Christ From Mary

VATICAN CITY, MAY 4, 2005 (Zenit.org).- Benedict XVI encouraged young people in particular to learn the love of Christ from Mary.
The Holy Father gave that exhortation at the end of today's general audience, the second of his pontificate, which gathered 15,000 pilgrims in St. Peter's Square.
"In this month of May, dedicated in a special way to the Mother of the Lord, I encourage you, dear young people, to enter the school of Mary to learn to love and follow Christ above all else," the Pope said with a smile.
Benedict XVI, who spent considerable time at the start of the audience greeting sick persons seated in the front rows, gave them a message too.
"May the Virgin help you, dear sick people, to contemplate with faith the mystery of pain and to understand the salvific value of every cross," he said.
Finally, the Holy Father addressed newlyweds, who arrived at the Vatican dressed in their wedding clothes.
"I commend you, dear newlyweds," he said, "to the maternal protection of the Holy Virgin, so that you will be able to live in your family the atmosphere of prayer and love of the home of Nazareth."

Yes, Father!

Mary, Teacher of Youth, pray for us!

Mary, Mother and Teacher

Since November, I've been reading Pastores Dabo Vobis (I Will Give You Shepherds) off and on whenever I have time. I just finished it today. The Conclusion speaks about "Mary, Mother and Teacher of our priesthood" so I thought it appropriate to post here.

Throughout the whole thing, I felt like I was constantly nodding in agreement, everything made such perfect sense. I have underlines and notes all over my copy of this wonderful exhortation. But it was the Conclusion that I found most moving, especially after our Holy Father's death. I felt like he was speaking directly to me.

He says in paragraph 82:

To today's young people I say: Be more docile to the voice of the Spirit, let the great expectations of the Church, of mankind, resound in the depths of your hearts. Do not be afraid to open your minds to Christ the Lord who is calling. Feel his loving look upon you and respod enthusiastically to Jesus when he asks you to follow him without reserve.

He then says to his "dear brother priests":

I will turn with each and every one of you in prayer to Mary, Mother and Teacher of our priesthood.
Every aspect of preistly formation can be referred to Mary, the human being who has responded better than any other to God's call. Mary became both the servant and the disciple of the Word to the point of conceiving, in her heart and in her flesh, the Word made man, so as to give him to mankind. Mary was called to educate the one eternal priest, who became docile and subject to her motherly authority. With her example and intercession the Blessed Virgin keeps vigilant watch over the growth of vocations and priestly life in the Church.
And so we priests are called to have an ever firmer and more tender devotion to the Virgin Mary and to show it by imitating her virtues and praying to her often.

O Mary,
Mother of Jesus Christ and Mother of priests,
accept this title which we bestow on you
to celebrate your motherhood
and to contemplate with you the priesthood
of your Son and of your sons,
O holy Mother of God.

O Mother of Christ,
to the Messiah-priest you gave a body of flesh
through the anointing of the Holy Spirit
for the salvation of the poor and the contrite of heart;
guard priests in your heart and in the Church,
O Mother of the Savior.

O Mother of Faith,
you accompanied to the Temple the Son of Man,
the fulfillment of the promises given to the fathers;
give to the Father for his glory
the priests of your Son,
O Ark of the Covenant.

O Mother of the Church,
in the midst of the disciples in the upper room
you prayed to the Spirit
for the new people and their shepherds;
obtain for the Order of Presbyters
a full measure of gifts,
O Queen of the Apostles.

O Mother of Jesus Christ,
you were with him at the beginning
of his life and mission,
you sought the Master among the crowd,
you stood beside him when he was lifted
up from the earth
consumed as the one eternal sacrifice,
and you had John, your son, near at hand;
accept from the beginning those
who have been called,
protect their growth,
in their life ministry accompany
your sons,
O Mother of Priests.
Amen. (emphasis mine)

I will ponder this prayer in my heart.

Mary, Mother of Priests, pray for us.

mundelein retreat

Last week I had my two psych evaulations which went well. I actually thought it was kinda fun going through the different word, number, and picture games in order to guage whatever capacity Doc was trying to guage...I'm not really sure. I meet with him in a couple weeks to discuss the results.

This past weekend I went on an excellent retreat to Mundelein seminary North of Chicago, IL. I was very impressed! I had some conversations with some of the guys who go there and they convinced me that the formation there is top-notch. Their vocation director is a good and holy priest. He gave an excellent talk on priestly identity. Their liturgy was amazing too, complete with candle bearers in the procession, incensing of the altar, tabernacle and crucifix, incensing of the gospel and also the gifts and mostly latin responses. The reverence was very moving.

I'd be happy to go to Mundelein if I was sent there. But I also still think it would be nice to join Michael Wimsatt and Fr. Bud at St. Mary's in Baltimore. And St. Meinrad would be close to home. I'd like to visit other places that I hear so much about like Mount St. Mary's, Sacred Heart, or St. Charles Borromeo just to see what they're like, but we don't use those. But that's OK. I want nothing more than to obey the will of God expressed in the guidance of my Vocation Director through the action of the Holy Spirit.

Sancta Maria, ora pro nobis