As I have examined my own spiritual life and interacted with others at many different parishes throughout the years, one thing most evident to me is that a true concept of sin is quite hard to find. I think we all, myself included, at different times in our lives vacillate between a lack of a sense of sin on one hand and a scrupulosity or shame on the other hand. But, it is when we are not vacillating, when we are not moving from one to the other as we seek with God’s help to find the truth about sin in the middle, then we are really in trouble.
When the lack of the sense of sin becomes concrete and determines our way of life then we have started down a troubling path indeed. Often this isn’t a consciously chosen path, though. It simply happens when a person coasts through each day, one after the next, unaware of the minor sins he commits that often add up to unnoticed serious sins. This person may not go to confession in years but when he does it is very difficult for him to think of specific sins he has committed. An equally troubling path is the scrupulous person. Once scrupulosity becomes a concrete way of life it settles from the soul into the psyche and begins to resemble obsessive compulsive disorder. Minor sins become serious sins and not even God’s mercy in Confession or the Eucharist is enough. Then shame builds, keeping this person from the sacraments entirely.
Thank God for Good Friday. Good Friday is one of the most powerful days for comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. One of the reasons it is “Good,” I think, is because it helps us to apprehend the truth of sin and forgiveness. For one who has lost or is losing a sense of sin in his life, Good Friday is a yearly reminder that it was not only the sins of the Romans and Jews of Jesus’ time that nailed him to the cross, but each one of our sins too. Recently I was reading a spiritual commentary on the liturgical year that vividly described the role our sins had to play in the drama of the passion and death of Jesus. The following excerpt definitely afflicts the comfortable:
“Imagine that divine face: swollen by blows, covered in spittle, torn by thorns, furrowed with blood, here fresh blood, there ugly dried blood. And, since the sacred Lamb had his hands tied, he could not use them to wipe away the blood running into his eyes, and so those two luminaries of heaven were eclipsed and almost blinded… Finally, so disfigured was he that one could not make out who he was; he scarcely seemed human; he had become an altarpiece depicting suffering, painted by those cruel artists, producing this pitiful figure to plead his case before his enemies… Therefore, sins – yours and mine – were the executioners who bound him and lashed him and crowned him with thorns and put him on the cross. So you can see how right it is for you to feel the enormity and malice of yours sins, for it was these which really caused so much suffering” (Navarre Commentary, Jn 19:1-3)
Such a reflection is a reality check isn’t it? The minor sins that we commit each day, that we don’t give much thought too – when seen in that perspective, cause us to take them more seriously and to turn to God more often for his mercy and help. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin,” the Letter to the Hebrews explains. “So let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help” (Heb 4:15-16). Receiving this mercy and help frequently in Confession is the best way to avoid one of the most clever tricks that the evil one plays on us: the attitude that sin doesn’t really matter and that I never really ever do anything wrong. A monthly examination of conscience and confession will help us become more astute observers of sins in our lives and give us continual grace to avoid these sins and grow in holiness. This more examined life brings comfort to our Lord’s pierced Heart.
In Christ’s Passion and Death, there is not only gruesome reminders of the gravity of sin but also much comfort for the afflicted. Those who are scrupulous or filled with shame are also corrected. We find St. Peter, the head of the apostles, falling asleep three times rather than praying and later denying him three times. But we also see him express repentance and upon Jesus’ Resurrection, state three times his love – a love that brings him forgiveness and makes him a pillar of the Church. Throughout our lives, “In this adventure of love,” St. Josemaria Escriva writes, “we should not be depressed by our falls, not even by serious falls, if we go to God in the sacrament of Penance contrite and resolved to improve. A Christian is not a neurotic collector of good behavior reports. Jesus Christ our Lord was moved as much by Peter’s repentance after his fall as by John’s innocence and faithfulness. Jesus understands our weakness and draws us to himself on an inclined plane. He wants us to make an effort to climb a little each day” (Navarre, Jn 18:27). Again, Confession is helpful for the scrupulous person too if it can be seen for what it really is – as the way in which Christ’s victory over sin is shared and applied to each one of us. With God’s grace we can be victorious over sin too! Then when victory brings confidence and mercy softens the heart, harshness with oneself can be relieved. Then guilt can be seen as a good thing that motivates one to renewed union with God and the Church rather than as shame that causes isolation and alienation.
The grace of Reconciliation that Christ won for us today helps us settle into the middle, into the truth of sin and forgiveness. We thank God that we have a heavenly mother to help us with this also. After Christ, we should have a deep, personal friendship with his Mother as well. Jesus from the cross gave her to his beloved disciple and so to all of us. When John took her into his own home, he took her into everything that makes up his inner life. “Mary certainly wants us to invoke her, to approach her confidently, to appeal to her as our mother” (Navarre, Jn 19:26-27) – whether we’re feeling lax or harsh – so that she can teach us about her Son and how to take sin seriously while still living a life of joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment